scorplus: Prompt: Marauders AU where the Marauders are in a band, and Lily is a fan (but Severus despises them)


"Lily," Severus sighed, with a scowl, "Why are we still here? We’ve seen two bands already."

"I love the next band! We always stay for them! The lead singer is hilarious."

"And she thinks the guitarist is hot." Marlene muttered under her breath prior to dunking back a shot.

"Wait…is it The Marauders?” Severus questioned.

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i do bad things because i listen to music with swears 


then this is natural selection at work and you probably deserved it


listen if you insult cats you are also insulting me


plucking your eyebrows is legitimately very stressful because you pull out one wrong hair and it’s game over





Japan’s annual Kanamara Matsuri festival, aka the “Festival of the Steel Phallus.”

(Source: Getty Images)

What the actual literal fuck

legend goes that a woman who had vagina dentata or “teeth” in her vagina (be it a demon or std), castrated her lover’s penis on their wedding night. she asked a blacksmith for help and he made her pretty much an iron dildo to break the teeth off

the tradition celebrates this iron penis, hence its name, festival of steel phallus

in more modern times, sex workers would to go to a shrine to pray for protection from STDs while couples would pray for healthy pregnancies and marriages.

it is also regarded as a fertility festival, where couples would pray for the health of their babies or hope that babies are in the future

the tradition has raised HIV awareness and research efforts in japan so like yeah it’s actually a very neat and positive thing yeah

Japan wins, everybody else can go home.